last edited: 2026-10-05
Verbal communication. The highest leverage skill one can have, and yet the most overlooked. People communicate every single day, so why practice it? I talk to people every single day, and I can tell they are unpracticed, anxious, and unsocialized.
An Overview
Below are a handful of sections relevant to this guide, give them a read.
Language Should Last
Do not say that a watch is a “flex”, instead mention that the watch is beautiful. Beautiful language lasts for hundreds of years, and the right people notice it.
Language is subject to context of course, but be careful of using slang in contexts that do not warrant it. Slang has an underlying tone of wanting to fit in with the common people, if you are uncommon then why force it? Be a put together individual, that is more attractive than fitting in. Slang does not last for hundreds of years, it’s true meaning becomes disfigured.
Common Phrases, Say Them Well
You greet people with “Good morning” and “Good afternoon” every single day, why would you decide to not practice them? An impressive greeting and an impressive exit can change your social skills entirely. It seems that lower class people always disagree with the idea of practicing social skills, sold on the lie that everything should be natural.
You end a phone call every single day, why not have a common exit? “Thank you for your call today.” “Thank you kindly.”. Every single call between business associates should consistently have one ending.
Take some phrases out of this guide, write them on a flashcard, and practice them daily. You will see the ease of your life once you have consistent openers, exits, and other phrases to easily turn to.
Separate Communication And Beliefs
Just because you’re disagreeable as a person doesn’t mean that you need to constantly signal this trait through your communication. Effective communication does not directly mean effective internal trait signaling. In a machiavellian way, why would you want to fully expose yourself to potential enemies? Keep yourself warm, charming, and welcoming. Save the hidden daggers for those who you learn deserve them.
Greetings
Exits
Disagreements
Disagree with someone? Try
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Want to showcase thoughts that may be contrary to your conversation partner? Opt for showcasing ideas in a non threatening way. Remember that you aren’t static either, and it’s possible this person know something that you don’t about this topic that could change your mind. Harsh language such as “And I could never be convinced otherwise” is anti seductive, anti relationship, and anti friend. Be firm.
Want to exit a conversation? Such as backing off from a topic you’re not comfortable with. Try the following:
Pitch
Do not make your voice comically low. Do not force your voice down, instead attempt to focus on not letting your voice be in a constantly high state. Men have a deeper natural voice than they realize, but it is not incredibly deep.
With these steps you can easily find your natural tone in minutes:
- Find a book to read, or blog post, preferably with complex language.
- Start reading in your regular voice.
- Adjust your speech so you talk at about a 70-80% speed compared to normal.
- Attempt to keep reading at the same pace but with a lower tone.
- As soon as you find yourself running out of breath or feeling too constrained, raise your tone in pitch just a tad. Reading with ease for at least 5 minutes? Lower it.
- Keep doing this. Your nautral low tone should be a lowered tone that you are comfortable speaking with for a long period of time, at least 30 minutes straight.
- You will find that your voice is not much deeper, for most people it’s only about 5-10% deeper. The depth generally comes from the slower speed of speech and the awareness of effective speech.
The three golden rules: Lower, slower, and comfortable. If you mess up any of those three rules, you’re going to have a less than optimized voice.
A note on pitch: don’t be a deadpan, tame, boring stick figurine. When doing an impression, feel free to go higher than normal, be expressive. Discussing a topic that you’re particularly passionate about? Use enhanced tonality to express this, with a lightly sped up language. This is a careful art which I will touch on more in the future.
Your standard lower pitch allows you to speak with a wider range of expression. If you’re constantly speaking with a high pitch, going lower feels strange and creepily seductive. You’re stuck in what I call “high pitch hell”. Going from a default low pitch to a quickly expressive high pitch during a story has a more natural feeling. It is enticing, sexy, and unpredictable. This dynamic is game changing, and the “contrast” can turn you from a OK communicator to an expert one.
One last note on tonality adjustments. Your